Once upon a time, I was in the playground with friends and we loved to play pretend, so I would always pretend to be an animal of some sort.. :'D One day I decided that animal was going to be a husky puppy. I gave her a name, and became so engulfed in this character that as soon as I went home after school that day, I opened up MS Paint and drew her. She was dark blue with green eyes, because hey, that's totally the color huskies are, right? :P

I got really into character design that one time and created hundreds of characters over the years, some I grew fond of, and some I scrapped, some I sadly can't use anymore because of personal reasons, but all made with love and all being a part of me in some way. <3

With that, I kind of forgot about this girl, my very first original character that I drew and designed. Or, I forgot to actually draw her and make a storyline or so... but often found myself sketching her.

Returning to digital art recently, particularly to drawing non-realistic animals, has been difficult. I felt like a fish in the water but at the same time on land: the muscle memory is there, but I had years of issues with mental and physical health and any time I tried to come back to it and create some new big interesting character, they didn't feel like me. They weren't connected to my life or memories and I tried to detach myself from them as much as I could so that I could create meaningful art without having to pour myself into it(I know, an odd way of thinking.) I also have been struggling with actually just being me, I struggle with adulthood and the idea of it. If I had the choice, I would have let myself stay young and a child forever. So, it felt uncomfortable to try to create art I used to make 15 years ago, art like the one I used to post on dA and other sites and make online friends and just enjoy living and drawing and loving my silly little colorful characters and their stories while having fun with friends. All because society expects you to grow up and actually act adult in every moment of your life, and I never wanted to, but reluctantly tried to fit in with that neurotypical idea for years, which caused a lot of hurt.


I was thinking about it some time ago and said... f*** it. I don't have to let my inner child die just because the world thinks it's immature to enjoy drawing colorful animals that talk. It's not my only interest but it's something that brings me a sense of peace and fun in a world that's.. kind of falling apart, yeah.


Drawing this made me feel good. So, this is my old girl from 2006, her design hasn't changed whatsoever. The one thing that will though is her name - if anyone has any suggestions let me know. She will be my main character from now on as she was always destined to be. ;v; <3