Trying to be peaceful with the elves was aggravating, Alys had more pressing matters to deal with. While the others attempted to gain entry peacefully, promising up and down that nothing drastic would happen, she slipped out of the infirmary. She felt Ugauc's mind get closer, but he refused to open up. From what she could sense from him though, he hurt. Every molecule hurt. From his green scales to his white bones. She found the large makeshift dragon infirmary and slipped through its flap.

A wide mix of smells hit her. The poisonous Seithr oil was the most potent, then the dragon blood. The softer scents of the salves and creams were the last to be identified. She saw lines and lines of bottles and vials, stacks of bandages and a large tank of clean water. Alys knew every bottle and its use. Everything from disinfecting spirits to the strongest cream she knew existed to treat burns. It was all there.

Do they even know how to help him? Are things that bad? Why didn't they call for me?!

Why are they making him suffer?

Her body still burned all over, worse now from being so close to him. Alys glanced around, finding the split to get to the other side. She took in a deep breath and stepped through, bolstering herself for what was to come.

But it wasn't enough. Nothing could prepare her for the state of Ugauc.

He was no longer green. Alys didn't even recognise him anymore.

He barely looked like a dragon.

Suddenly, Alys' body grew weak. Not with physical pain alone, but shame, guilt, and the most debilitating sorrow. It was a new level of pain. A soul crushing, heart destroying pain.

His neck had a deep wound either side and his back was dotted with shallow but numerous punctures. His scales were black surrounding his injuries. Each one was wrapped or patched up but pointlessly. Pitch-like ooze soaked his bandages and scales—nothing had healed during the past two months. In fact, he looked worse, far worse. What scales weren't black where a dull green and wore an oily sheen. He was on his deathbed. There was no healing in all of Alagaësia that could save him.

A soft whine left Ugauc and his shifted his head the slightest bit.

Alys could barely make him out as her vision drowned in tears. "Oh Ugauc..." She tried to click her tongue like a dam dragon, but failed. She knelt by his head and held his face.

His shallow breathing lifted his body on the mattress he rested on. He flicked his tongue out, grazing Alys' wrist. Al...

"Don't." Alys tried to sound strong as she pressed a kiss to his head. "D-Don't..." She swallowed hard.

Ugauc said nothing. He opened his eyes slowly. They didn't hold the striking topaz colour like before. Now they were a pale yellow.

Alys lifted her head to looked at him. "I-I didn't know... Th-They said—They said they could heal you!"

He closed his eyes. I know...

Her lip pouted suddenly and quivered. She was about to bawl harder than she ever had. Her time was limited. She couldn't afford to cry. "T-Tell me what you want."

He was silent, his slow and raspy breathing filling the tent.

"Ugauc!" Alys pressed, desperate.

El... Eldunarí, he forced himself to say.

Alys wiped her face and nodded, gedwëy ignasia glowing. Let me help you. She whispered unintelligibly, offering her strength to Ugauc.

She had heard descriptions of the disgorging of a dragon's Heart of Hearts. That it was a powerful and moving moment of trust and solidarity, a true show of awe for the relation between a dragon and its Rider.

This was not that.

It was an exhausting struggle for Ugauc. Alys was tense just watching him lurch and tremble with effort. She stroked his face and offered all her strength to him—it was all she could do. Eventually, his Eldunarí landed onto her lap and she sighed with relief.

Alys looked at the green gem, feeling Ugauc's mind as her own. He was exhausted, barely even there. She lay the Heart by his head and kissed his scales. "You can go, Ugauc." She pressed her forehead to his and watched his eyes closed slowly.

Ugauc slowly exhaled and his body stilled completely. An empty expanse was left in Alys' mind, where he had always occupied since his hatching.

Alys squeezed her eyes shut and let her tears roll down, slowly for now. She made a pouch with her shirt and put his Eldunarí into it. She forced herself to her feet and with a few words, cremated Ugauc's body in seconds with a green fireball.

She grabbed one of the spirits, took a swig and shook her head as the taste assaulted her. Alys dumped the liquid onto the ground and, with a wave of her hand, gathered his ashes and put them in the body. A far from worthy urn, but she promised it was only temporary. She felt too much, and it all had to wait.

She stomped out of the tent, putting the cork in Ugauc's urn and bunched her fists.

He had suffered. He had died slowly. In the name of what? Fear? Adversion? Judgement?

Alys' tears were hot on her face now, relentless. Her heart was aching with guilt. All she wanted was for her dragon to not suffer and somehow, this was the only solution to that. Death.

She fell to her knees, hugging Ugauc's Heart and urn. "You didn't deserve this..." she sobbed silently, doubling over.

Her heart was destroyed, full of agony and hollow of love. Her partner-of-mind-and-soul was gone... until he gained his strength back. But Alys would never again hold him, touch him. He'd never dress himself up again.

Her thoughts were a frenzy. The wave of realisation of what everything meant for her now. She may as well be a ghost without her beloved Ugauc.

Alys didn't know how long she sobbed alone for. But what brought her out of it was the coolness brought upon by a huge shadow. Company. She realised many minds were close by, watching her. But what had caught hr attention was a large body standing in front of her, draping something heavy over her to hide her from the prying eyes and minds. Minds that had access to hers now. Or did.

She swallowed hard, her throat swollen and raw, and lifted her head.

A blurry, slim, black form appeared beside her, and lowered its head, shining blue eyes lighting up the canopy it had created with its body.

"Shr-Shruikan?" Alys swiped her face.

His mind hugged hers and formed a protective wall for her. I'm here, Alys. Take your time. They won't see you at your most vulnerable. He lay down, still shielding her with himself.

Alys flopped against him, letting her body and mind work through her emotions. Her vision didn't clear, and her face didn't dry until the sun was long gone. She stood up, letting Ugauc rest on the ground—he was still exhausted.

She peeked out between Shruikan's wing and his body. Everyone was gone now, only creatures of the night lingered in the forest, too far away to be felt. But Aly's mind was numb and tired. Her entire body was.

She touched Shruikan's shoulder and his eye snapped open. He was still protecting her mind long after everyone had gone.

He raised his head and they looked at each other for a few silent moments. Alys leaned on his neck.

"Shruikan... lets get out of here please. I need to get away from here."

Warmth enveloped her mind, like a snug blanket on a winter's morning. Let's go then. We have no business here.

*~*~*~*

The next few weeks were strange. Strange and silent. Grief filled Alys. A new, calm grief. Not the violent sorrow she'd experienced when she came back to the academy before.

Maybe it was Ugauc's Eldunarí, or having Shruikan to focus on, but she was more at peace now. There were times when the easiness would lift and heartbreak would force her into a ball on her bed, or wherever she was. It put everything to a hold until Alys relieved it all she felt. It was an awful, almost daily, process to experience.

She didn't return to teaching or to the nursery. Others had to cover that. Alys couldn't face it. The young dragons. The Riders. How could she? It would not be a useful distraction. But she knew what would be.

"Why?" Eragon snapped his head up at her when she told him. His office was warm on that autumn afternoon. They were alone with the fire crackling in a corner and tobacco wafting in the air.

"I have to. I'm no use here and here is not where I should be." Alys crossed her arms. She'd thought about it for too long. Her decision was made. It was foolproof by now. She'd only put it off out of fear and needing to arrange things.

"Where will you go?" the headmaster stood up quickly.

Alys was unmoving. "West. Surda or Ilirea."

"And what will you do?" Eragon looked at her harshly, judgement creasing his brow.

She shrugged. "Heal. Maybe track down some dragon murders." He scowled. "You've gotten nowhere with your hunt for who killed Ugauc," she said before he could spout off. "Maybe I'll try to. Don't worry. I'll come to you if I find anything." Alys sighed. "I have no urge to kill them, just to connect the dots. I'll mainly stay away from it until I'm done grieving. To avoid impulse. I have no need for vengeance. Only tea, cake and a nice fire with my crochet."

Eragon drew in a long breath and looked out the window, seeing the newest Riders taking flight with their dragons. He watched them for a few moments, trying to coax Alys to look, she did not. Finally, he said; "And what of Shruikan?"

"He and his Eldunarí will come with me. That is his wish. We'll heal together, as the Eldunarya wanted."

He turned to her. "Where are you planning to go exactly?"

Alys tried not to roll her eyes. "To my family in Surda. Probably to the estate or something where Shruikan will be comfortable. I've arranged to help Nasuada in the spring. You'll be well able to keep tabs on me if you wish. I've no plans for mass-murder nor conquering the land and wiping out the Order."

"That's not what—Fine. I'll try scrying you to make sure things are all right then? Is that agreeable?"

She didn't like it. She wanted to get away from the Academy. "Fine. With a mirror though. I won't be spied on."

He was silent again, considering her words. He sat at his chair again, slipping his pipe between his lips. "Very well. When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow. I've already dealt with my belongings, either sold them or I'll bring them. The room will be ready for someone else once I'm gone." Alys watched him.

Eragon puffed out a narrow stream of smoke and drew in a long breath. "May the wind rise under your wings, and the sun always be at your back."

End